Early development, 10 months–3 years
How to calm tantrums in 1–3 year olds — Čuvarak practical tips
Developmentally appropriate, nonviolent steps parents can use to set limits and help toddlers calm down in the moment.
An educational response by Anastasija Martinović
Anastasija Martinović
Anastasija Martinović: As an educator at Čuvarak, I share practical, experience-based strategies for families. These are educational tips, not medical or mental health treatment; contact a professional if you have serious concerns.
When a 1–3-year-old melts into a tantrum, your calm is the most useful tool. Stay near the child to keep them safe, lower your voice, and say one short sentence to name the feeling and limit the behavior, for example: 'I see you are angry. Hands are for gentle touches.' Keep instructions simple, avoid arguing, and remove dangerous objects or other children from reach.
Before tantrums start, check basic needs: offer food, a drink, a nap or a quieter space if the child looks overstimulated. Use small, consistent rules that you and other caregivers follow, and at transitions give a brief warning plus two acceptable options, for example: 'Five more minutes or choose the book now.' After the child calms, practice words for feelings and alternatives to hitting, and praise the specific calm choices you see.
Keep expectations age-appropriate: toddlers have limited language and self-control, so short routines and clear signals work best. Avoid physical punishment, shaming, or threatening to leave; these methods can harm your relationship and make emotions harder to manage. Plan with partners or caregivers so boundaries stay consistent, and take brief breaks to regulate your own stress so you can respond calmly and reliably.
Anastasija suggests
Anastasija Martinović
- 1During a tantrum stay calm: lower your voice, stay close to protect the child, and say one short phrase that names the feeling and sets a boundary (e.g., 'I see you are angry. We do not hit.').
- 2Offer two acceptable choices and announce transitions: give a brief warning before switching activities (e.g., 'Five more minutes or pick a toy now').
- 3Check basic needs: make sure the child isn’t hungry, thirsty, tired, or overstimulated and keep consistent sleep, meal, and movement routines as much as possible.
- 4After the child calms, help them practice words for feelings and acceptable alternatives to hitting or throwing, and praise the specific calm behavior to reinforce the skill.